Light Bulbs

The following is a true story...no names have been changed cuz it happened to me....

Picture this...I had been up since 3 AM, having only had about 3 hours of sleep the night prior due to moving, (more on that later) worked a 9 1/2 hour shift , drove home and immediately started unpacking my car (I drove to work with a car full of random Kitchen supplies) and continued to repack my car and move all of the remaining items that needed to be on the moving truck from the office to the living room so Ed and the one man "crew" (more on that later, too) could come in and do a grab and load.  The time was now 8PM and I was beyond exhausted, needed a shower and had not eaten in 24 hours. I had just driven Ed to the old house to pick up his car, and the following conversation happened:

ME: What now?

ED: Well, we need food and also a trip to WalMart is needed. We need a shower curtain, light bulbs, a lamp (He broke the one I had in the move) and stuff to shower with. 

ME: You go get food, I will go to Wal Mart and meet you back at the house

ED: Are you sure you are ok to go on your own?

ME:  

ED: ok. Love you. See you in a few. 

I then headed off to Walmart. I walked around the store gathering up the needed shower supplies, and shower curtain. I was then near the back of the store where the lights bulbs are, so I figured I would grab some. By this time, the only thing holding me upright was the cart I was pushing. I was SO tired. Anyway...I turn the corner onto the light bulb aisle and I am faced with 4800 different types of light bulbs. I stand there. Staring at the bulbs.

MY BRAIN: YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!! YOU AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH!!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!!

ME: I can't do this. It's too much.

Just then (about 10 seconds had passed, but I thought I had been there 4 days) Mr. WalMart Lightbulb Man came around the corner. Actual Conversation:

MR. WALMART: Can I help you?

ME: Yes, Mr. WalMart Lightbulb Man. I have to get the light bulbs so I can go home, have a shower and some food and lay down. I can't do any of those things until I get the light bulbs. Since I don't want to lose my shit in the light bulb aisle at WalMart and become an Internet meme, I need you to just give me the light bulbs. There are too many and I can't do this. It is too much. 

MR W: *without breaking eye contact reaches over and places a pack of bulbs in my cart* There you go. 

ME: Thank You. I really didn't want to lose my shit in the light bulb aisle at WalMart. 

MR W.: Nobody wants that. 

ME: Have a good night.

Then I walk off and go back to the front of the store, grab a lamp, and as I am walking, there is a display with soft, fuzzy lap blankets. I pick up a very pretty purple one and say out loud to no one : I NEED DIS" put it in my cart and proceed to the check out feeling SO victorious. Like I just won the Olympics, cuz I had the light bulbs. 

I get home, Ed comes out to help me bring the items in cuz he's good like that and he happens to carry the lamp in. He brings it in, and says " Oh, look. Light bulbs are included. We didn't need them after all"

I threw my shoe at him, called him an asshole, ate my burger, showered and laid down with my new purple blanket..