Saturday, January 31, 2009

Late Night Happenings on the Tundra

In an effort to streamline and un-clutter my life, I decided to go through my closet and get rid of all the clothes that
a) don't fit
b) are out of style
c) make me say "what was I thinking?!?"
d) all of the above
Ok, perhaps the fact that I had spent like 2 hours watching "What Not To Wear" had a little influence as well. Some of those people SERIOUSLY needed help!

ANYWAY........While I did manage to come up with quite a few items to take to the Salvation Army, and I was even able to go from 38 pairs of shoes to 19 (I KNOW!!AMAZING for me to do that! ) , I didn't even start this endevour until after 830 Pm, so that meant I was still up (actually finishing up) when Ed got home from work at like 1130PM. (He works nights, I work days and if we are lucky, we see other for like 2 minutes during the week...damn Government! )

While Ed was changing out of his uniform, he says that on his way home he was thnking that we hadn't gone out for breakfast at midnight in a LONG time (actually it has been like 5 years) and so I reminded him it's probably because I get up at 4 am to go to work and that might be why. So we decided that we were going to go to breakfast.

Now I was surprised by the number of people out at that hour here in the old people capital of the universe, and by the fact that there were people that were walking about at that hour. Kinda scary people, but people none the less.

We had decided to go to the "new" IHOP. Actually they just moved into a new building across town, which is good cuz the old one was ghetto. So we drive to IHOP to find that they had just closed. With heavy hearts, and empty bellies, we then proceeded to Denny's (not Belltower, the OTHER one, Himbo) On our way there, we were passed by a woman who was in a BIG hurry to get somewhere and so was driving like a bat out of hell (where did that expression start...I must research that later....hmmm...) When suddenly I heard a very loud noise and about 100 yards in front of us, the woman had come to an abrupt stop. It was then that one of Hemet's finest was coming up from the other direction, flipped a bitch and lighted up the scene with his pretty red and blues. I thought that the woman had hit the curb, but when we got closer, we saw the other car. Also we saw the woman stumble out of her car in her halter top and heels (cute shoes, btw) and start arguing with the other driver. Ed said he thinks the woman saw the cop, and panicked and overcorrected while changing lanes (cuz she had just passed us and was changing lanes again) and hit the other car. Good thing for the other driver that their witness is a cop, cuz drunk crazy lady was sure trying to make it the other person's fault....

Then we went to Denny's, had eggs, pancakes and coffe, went home and passed out. And how was YOUR night?


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Blah blah blah

Ok, So I really don't have much going on these days. Just renovating the casa and going to work. Except of course for the 2 days I took off cuz I was "indisposed" (as my grandma would say) .

I am learning to tape and "mud" drywall however,It is a messy job (at least when I do it) but it's kinda ok.

I have decided that I am going to change Big Sexy's name to Ed. It's just that I feel kinda werd having OTHER people call my hubby "Big Sexy".....As for Ed...well there is a story behind that as well.....

Me: Hey bitch...whatcha doin?

Beckatang: What?

Me: I SAID "Hey bitch, whatcha doin?"

BT: Oh...nada,,you?

Me: Just chiilin talkin to Dave and...

BT: Did you just say you were talking to Ed? Who the hell is Ed?

Me: I said "Dave".

BT: OH..well I think that from now on I shall call him Ed.

And friends and neighbors, from that day forward, she did indeed call him Ed. And apparently she told my sisters and they also call him Ed and I hate to admit it, but I find myself calling him Ed quite often as well....the power of suggestion is strong....

So now he is Ed. Unless Beckatang is angry at him for some imagined transgression, then he becomes Mr. Edward Sir, but if she's happy with him because he has either done something for her, or said something nice about her, or took her stupid side in an argument with me, then he is Eddie-pie. She's so weird. But I love her (I have to it's a rule)

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Well, I guess I have been tagged by Himrico! I feel so honored...just keep in mind that my ipod has not been updated in here goes!

Las Reglas:
1. Put your iPod/iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
4. Tag 3 people to complete this!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?"Tom Sawyer" Rush(ummm...what?)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?"Edge of Seventeen" Stevie Nicks (hmmmmm)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?"Opposites Attract" Paula Abdul w/MC Kat(omg! I forgot I even had this was a phase....)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?"Down On My Knees" Trisha Yearwood(Ok, you sickos, I KNOW what you are thinking, but it's ACTUALLY a very touching love down on my knees begging you to stay,,etc)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?"Straight Up" Paula Freakin Abdul ( Ok, again a PHASE..don't judge me!)



WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?"Knocked Out" Paula Abdul (Now I know how Himrico felt w/ Sarah Brightman!! Fuck!)


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?"Kisses In The Wind" Paula Abdul (Fuck ME!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?"Complicated"Carolyn Dawn Johnson


WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?Im skipping this one. Both of them are gone. Still not over it yet...sorry

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?"Total Eclipse of the Heart" Bonnie Tyler-(HOLY CRAP that's funny!)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?"Sweet Child O Mine" Guns and Roses( How totally appropriate is THAT?)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?"What Hurts the Most" Rascall Flatts(Wow)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS"Why Haven't I Heard From You?" Reba-(Perfect!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?"Little Liar" Joan Jett(Again a GREAT match to the question as all liars should be publically flogged and covered in feathers)

HOW WILL YOU DIE."Hollaback Girl" Pink (uh oh)

WHAT IS ONE THING YOU REGRET?"Seven Year Ache" Trisha Yearwood

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?"Survivor" Destiny's Child

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?"The Way That You Love Me" Paula Abdul (here we go again...stop judging me!)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?"I Hate Myself For Loving You" Joan Jett(so apparently not?)

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?"My Give A Damn's Busted" Jodee Messina ( And that's how I really feel! )

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?"Rush, Rush" Paula Abdul(So perhaps I would have slowed down and possibly not had so much Paula on my Ipod? )

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?"Walkin On" Faith Hill

I tag Beckatang, Uncle Dan, and Pork Chop- Good Luck!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Catching Up

Ok, So I haven't been blogging much. I could say it's cuz I'm way busy with the various "phases" of the renovations (which is true,sort of), or I could say I'm tired, or I could say I forgot, or I could say I'm drunk.....But the honest truth is that after reading some of the luxiourious adventures of my fellow bloggers my life seems...well....dull.

Although a recent conversation with Beckatang might apply in this instance:

Me: Hi. Whatcha doin?

BT:Why you gotta know? The real question is what are YOU doing? (again, suspicious of others activities)

Me: What's up your butt? I was just asking what you were doing to be polite. I really don't give a rat's ass.

BT: Sorry. I am upset about my candy dish....AGAIN

Me: Ummmmmmm....what?

BT: Ok, so I got this candy dish and I put candy in it. Then some friends came over and ate the candy. This means I have to go buy MORE candy. Now, here's the problem with I get the SAME kind of candy in the hopes that the same people will eat it, do I get what I like and hope no one else eats it or do I go cheap and get what's on sale? Now, if I go the buy the same stuff route, they are liable to think I bought it for them and keep coming back to mooch more which means I'll have to take on a second job to support their candy habit. If I go and get something only I like, I could offend someone, or worse yet they will see my choice in candies and think I am weird for liking that kind. If I go cheap. well....let's just say it will end with yelling and tears.

Me: Wow.

BT: yes, having a candy dish is a heavy responsibility.

Me: So, throw it out.

Bt: But I paid 4 dollars for it.

ME: ok, then put it in your closet or somethin.

BT: and then when they come back and see it gone they will think I got upset they ate the candy and that I took the dish away when they knocked on the door...hurt feelings!

Me: Well, I got nothin.

BT: Who knew a candy dish would be so damn stressful?

Me: UMMM...yeah...listen I gotta go, Talk to you later!

At that point I hung up the phone, made myself a drink and realized that this blog is becoming my own personal candy dish....I don't want to be boring, but yet my life has a lot of boredom in it...Hopefully Ican put together enough interesting tidbits to keep everyone interested......I'm tired ...good night.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Just Stuff.....

Hey everybody! Sorry I haven't posted recently, but with the construction on the casa, working full time (ok maybe not FULL time....can you say LCV?) and trying to keep up with the circus, I have been either a) too busy , b) too tired or c) all of the above. Feel free to choose any answer you would like......

So, last night I took a few hours off from my construction job and went to my stylist for a cut and color. Now, for those of you that know me, the fact that I have a stylist is probably surprising, but I have learned that NOTHING grows out slower than a bad hair cut and I REFUSE to live through THAT again! ANYWAY...Amber (my stylist)did another amazing job and I am truly luxurious! She took my hair a bit darker brown and added some blonde (gasp!!) highlights that look fabulous. (If I do say so myself).

As for the renovations.....well they are moving along. I have discovered my real role throughout this is driver/color chooser/lunch getter/cleaner upper. Now the one part of my role that seems to frustrate Big Sexy is the cleaning one. (can you say OCD?)

BS: What are you doing?
Me Vaccumming...duh!
BS: Why?
Me: because the carpet is dirty...why else does one vaccuum?
BS: Well, I was just wonderin, cuz I will be ripping that carpet out in like an hour, so I was just thinking that you really didn't need to vaccumm......
Me: Shut up. Don't you judge me!!
BS: Ok.

1 Hour Later:
BS: What are you doing?
ME: I'm sweeping up this dirt and crap from the fireplace. Why do you keep asking me that?
BS: Because I don't understand why you are cleaning up something that I'm just gonna get dirty again.
Me: Well, you left and I thought you were
BS: Ok, now. I was in the next room getting a drink of water and you saw me. I think you are trying to use me as an excuse to feed your cleaning habit. You need help.
Me: No I don't!
BS: Admitting the problem is part of the cure. Say it with me: My Name is Brenda and I have a cleaning disorder. I have to clean things even if they don't need it. Say it and you will feel better.
Me: shut up. I don't have a problem...
BS:Then why are you dusting my hammer?
Me: I hate you!

So that's it for now kids! Stay safe and remember: There is no such thing as too many shoes!!!


ps. Beckatang!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Apparently, I was mistaken

Hey Everybody! After reading Bon Don and Himbo's blogs, I must say that MY weekend was nowhere near as fun, exciting and luxurious as theirs. While my buddies were spending the weekend doing what weekends were made for (ie. gettin stupid drunk and then regretting it the next day) I was busy beginning the deconstuction on Casa De Rowe.(is that right, Himrico?) I am jealous of all of you!

Yep, I now live in a construction zone. There are rooms with no carpet, rooms missing walls and just general chaos, but rest assured, dear friends, it wil be FABULOUS when complete. I just hafta get past the construction phase and into the put it all back together phase. Ah, well.......

The reason I titled this entry the way I did has to do with Beckatang. Here is a snippet of our conversation on my way home from work today ( I pretty much call her everyday on the drive home, as sometimes she amuses me)

Me: Hey Beckatang! Whatcha doin?

Beckatang:Just sittin here on the couch. What the hell are YOU doing? (She is a bit suspicious of other's activities)

Me: Drivin home from work. I'm Tired.

Beckatang: Whatever. So I've been reading your little blog thingy (yep that's what she said) and I have noticed that you don't write about me. What's up with THAT?

Me: Well, I was under the impression that MY blog would be about, well... me.

Beckatang: WHAT?!?! Ugh! I can't beleive you. First you only mention me ONCE so far and then it's near the end and I'm ACTUALLY right before "and other assorted people". I must say, I am shocked, offended and a bit hurt.

Me: Ummmmmmm....what?

Beckatang: Well. all I know, lady, is that i had better see my name in every blog you post from now on.

Me: OK, whatever.

So now, friends, every blog will have Beckatang's name in it somewhere.

That's all for now...I need to cook dinner....later!

Friday, January 9, 2009

How much the rooms is?

Just to give all my blog-friends a peek into my work day, the following is an ACTUAL call I had on Thursday:

Me: Thank you for calling (insert hotel name here). This is Brenda. What city and state can I help you with today?

Her: Yeah, how much your rooms is? (I SWEAR!)

Me: What city and state is the Hotel in that you would like rates for?

Her: I don't wanna make no reservation, I jus wanna know how much the rooms is

Me: I would be glad to help you with the information you want, but I need a bit more information from you to do so. We have Hotels all over the world and they are all at diffrent rates. If you can just tell me WHERE you would like to stay, I will be glad to tell you how much the room would be.

Her: I tol you, I don't want no reservation, jus tell me how much the rooms is.

Me: I would be glad to, but I need more information from you. Where is the Hotel you would like rates for?

Her :Look, I jus wanna know how much the rooms is. Why won't you tell me? Its your job, ain't it?

Me: Yes, and I would be glad to help you, but you haven't given me enough information to help you.

Her: Bitch!
And with that, she hung up.

Now keep in mind the people sitting around me can hear my side of the conversation and pretty much can tell what's being said. When I turn to my "friends" for some emotional support and I tell them some of the conversation, they are trying hard to not fall out of their chairs from laughing so hard. Now I ask you, is it any surprise that I took a personal break, logged off, called them all dirty names and went to the break room for some chocolate therapy?

Upon returning from my break, I found my "friends" (and I use that term VERY loosely, I can assure you) still giggling and Pork Chop ( not what her mama named her) turns to me and with a serious face says to me

PC:Brenda, can you help me with something? I have a guest on hold and I need help answering his question."

Me: Sure, what's up?

PC: Well, he needs to know HOW MUCH THE ROOMS IS!!!!!

Upon which she falls off her chair in gales of laughter, so I kick her in the side and go to my seat.
OK, not really, I actually couldn't help laughing and then managed to get thru the rest of the day without hurting anyone. Sometimes the people I work with manage to help me keep my sanity.......and if you have ever met them,(and Himbo, you have) you would be as scared as I am by that statement........

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The cast of characters

Ok, so I was thinking that if I am going to be blogging about life here on the Tundra, then perhaps I should explain who all the people who might just show up in a musing are:

First there's Big Sexy. He is my hubby (duh!)and I call him Big Sexy cuz he's big (6'2") and he's sexy! At first he resisted his name, but then once he realized that resistance was futile, and frustrating, he became resigned to it. As a matter of fact, he has somewhat embraced it as of late, as a couple of his texts and emails to me have been signed "Big Sexy"....I wonder what would happen at work if he accidently sent that signature out to the global adress list for March ARB? How FAB U LOUS would that be?? I'm just glad and grateful that he tolerates my own unique brand of humor and lunacy!

Then there's Bug. Bug is my oldest offspring. She too lives in the Tundra. She has a fabulous family of her own that includes Nitoe (more on HER later!) and Spike (the grandson). Bug is a member of the USMC. She did her 4 years and then went back and signed up for the reserves. This is important to remember as she has the ability to kill you 7 different ways without using a gun or breaking a sweat, that is if she can put down the chicken leg long enough!

Ah Nitoe......she has brought us such joy and happiness. Actually we spend a fair amount of time wondering just what is was she said. There have been a few "Nitoe-isms" that have become a part of our everyday life. Things like Nitoe at Wal Mart (aka redneck heaven)standing in front of a display of like 30 diffrent gums and exclaiming (very loudly) "Mama! I can't find the gum!"...when actually she just couldn't find her brand......gotsa love Nitoe!

From a previous doomed relationship, Nitoe begat Spike. He is 4 going on 35. I LOVE him!!! He ALWAYS makes me laugh....except when he's being a little butt-head. Spike wants to be big and strong like his "Poppa"" (Big Sexy) so he always eats his veggies....usually...sometimes.....

Occasionally, my younger daughter , Princess Shell may show up. She lives in Murietta, and works at...are you ready for it?......Shell gas station. She's a good kid. She really doesn't call me a lot, (hence limeted irritations) and visits when she can. She does has a bit of drama in her life from time to stay posted!

The boys are Twitch and Anthostein. Twitch lives with Bug and Nitoe and Anthostein(Like Frankenstein....) lives with us. At least sometimes. He's not really home a lot lately, so I'll have to catch up with him later to find out what kind of fabulous adventures he has had. He is in the US Army Reserves. Twitch very rarely is seen, and SOME of us even began to question his very exsistence......highly suspicious........

The youngest member of this circus I call my life is Ratt-Chuk. (rat chuck) She is 17 and full of typical teen age angst. She isn't QUITE as dramatic as the lesbians (or is it lebanese? I'm never sure...) but not TOO far from it. She has made a couple of pretty big, stupid mistakes, and I hope she learns from them.......cuz I would hate to have to have her taken out......I have "friends".....

I also talk to my sister Beckatang on a pretty much daily basis. She is my youngest sister (I have 4 other sisters and 3 brothers) and she lives in Colorado. We have sort of created our own language, and most often we are the only ones that think we are funny......ANYHOW....she does have some pretty hi-lar- i -ous adventures and I will regale you with them as I see fit.

For the most part, that is the main cast. There will be others making guest apperances (like Susie-Q, R, and Uncle Dan) but you will learn of them and their connection to me on an as needed basis.......

Monday, January 5, 2009

Welcome to my Blog!!!

Hey! It's ME and I'm blogging! Unbeleiveable, isn't it!

First things first...I have to thank my buddy Himbo for giving me the courge to start this little venture, as well as part of the name( he coined "the tundra" to describe Hemet, and I must say, it is fitting) So, Mucho gracias, Himbolito!!!! Smmooocchheessssss!!!

For those of you who know me, you are probably not sure what to expect on this page, but rest assured, neither do I! For those of you that don't know me, I am an Air Force wife, mother of 5 and I work for a major hotel chain as a reservations sales specialist. Pretty title for a rather frustrating job dealing with the basic stupidity of people on a daily basis. Some days I like my job and other days.....well.....not so much.

I have 1 dog , Shila, she is an all white husky with ice blue eyes, 9 cats , Tigger, Booger, Vanessa, Batman, BJ, Half Pint, Moose, Gizmo, and Dez, (yeah, I know) a 6 ft long columbian red tail boa constrictor named Ethel and a 3 ft long okatee creamsicle corn snake named Juan Veldez.

Most of my musings will probably be about life in general here on The Tundra. But there may be the occasional musing about world events, celebrity stupidity, and just STUFF!

So hold on folks, "It's going to be a bumpy ride...." Enjoy!!!!